Donika Miller's Blog

Since I've started this thing, I've received many kind, supportive responses, and some very helpful suggestions and critiques. I've also received a couple of nasty comments that I did not see coming. At all. To be honest, though, they're my favorite responses. I mean, I've talked about how I came to work for Rudius and what type of journal I use. Kind of innocuous, no? The fact that this somehow pisses people off cracks me up. I don't know what about me arouses ire in people, but-- Actually, I am exactly sure what it is. Let's explore by example:

Danika - very sweet, but very long. Why not get yourself an editor? You might have skipped a couple of the classes that covered English grammar and you certainly missed the whole brevity is the sole of wit thing.

-Lily

Putting aside that this person misspells both my name and the word "soul" while picking on my grammar, OK... fair enough. I agree that the entry was way too long, but of itself the comment is not remarkable. What is interesting, though, is what came out when PhilaLawyer responded to her.

Philalawyer - I'm not sure what your point is. Is it that the inaugural post of the Managing Editor of the newly professional Rudius Media had a pretty major grammatical error and the level of detail that only friends and family could love is insignificant because well she's a girl and insecure and so the fact that she's writing at all is enough to require applause? Or is it that none of you Rudius writers can be expected to take a close look at her work, cause though you've got her back, you don't really take her writing seriously? Although it is sweet of you to defend her, wouldn't it be more generous to edit her?

Whoa... there are a lot of assumptions in there. Around these parts, insecurity is not gladly accommodated, so I'm not sure where she got the impression that I'm being humored. And who's asking anyone to take my writing seriously? It's here; read it or don't. I'm sure as hell not calling myself the next Faulkner. Please note, I still have no idea what grammatical error is driving her to pass judgement on me as a person, and frankly, I don't care.

People often claim that grammar mastery is useful so that you know when and where it's powerful to break the rules. I disagree, slightly. I think it's more that once you know something really well, you can grow beyond it. I don't downplay the importance of grammar, but if you're mired in those rules, you're essentially imprisoning yourself. Both from reaching your creative best and appreciating the creative best around you. (Oooo, see how that last sentence was nothing but a prepositional phrase? No governing subject OR predicate? Grammatically badass, and pissing off people like Lily along the way. Double win.) I can play the grammar game with the best of them, but overemphasis on it is generally the hallmark of the creatively stunted. I know, I've been there.

The impetus for this post was a comment I received yesterday, in response to my dissatisfaction with these entries, "Why wait? Why not delete these entries right now? -Beth" My boyfriend will confirm that I almost rejoiced over this, as it clarified a lot to me.

You bitches are jealous, plain and simple.

Lily, Beth, and Anyone Else Who Reads About a Moleskine and Gets Pissed Off, I have news for you: your problem is not with me. As I said, I've been there, so I know roughly what is going through your heads right now. You're reading this and thinking, "What the hell? This girl is borderline vapid, and she doesn't even know GRAMMAR. How did SHE become the editor in this operation?" What you're really wondering, though, is, "What the hell? I'm every bit as smart as she is, and much better at grammar. How come I'M not doing what she does?" I can't answer that question for you, but I can suggest some reading on the subject. There is a fantastic book called The War of Art, the first third of which is devoted to the concept of Resistance. It claims that anytime someone sets out to do something creative, the world fights them on it. It can be in the form of family obligations, self doubt, or naysayers, among other things. Naysayers root for failure because it makes them feel better about themselves; success in others shames their rationale for not trying. Right now I've neither succeeded nor failed, but I'm shocked how quickly resistance showed up on my doorstep. I haven't even done anything yet.

Howard Stern has been a huge influence in my life, and one of his classic sworn enemies was Kathie Lee Gifford. He had a stance on her that I find insightful. Though he despised her, he also described himself as her biggest fan, as he would watch, listen to, and read anything about her. It might have been out of hatred, but that sort of preoccupation with a person is also what characterizes a fan. On no level do I believe people who dislike me are fans-- at the very least I don't have enough of a presence for that-- but I do know this, for sure: they'll read this site with much more fervor than people who like me. And I appreciate that. Not their readership necessarily, but their inspiration. I've been too busy to post on here lately, yet Beth's comment got me typing almost immediately. PLEASE keep leaving me nasty remarks. I won't respond to them anymore, but I will approve and savor each one. They give me confidence that I'm on the right track, and remind me not to become that angry, frustrated person again. They might also help the naysayers work out some of their self loathing, so with an unburdened soul they can find their own happiness.

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